Having a New Year’s Eve party?
A Resolution: Seems like if I stop restoring the old broken posts and pages and move forward with only text posts, no links, photos, files, or media, all is OK here on Porcelain Utopia. Here’s what got me there, from my notebook.
Good morning—up at 3 here. Now nearly 6 AM. Prior to any morning meds, which I just “dropped” LOL (LSD reference—been there too, just not in the 60s—actually 10 years clean in a couple weeks.) But with both this technology “stuff”—it’s all just moving way too quickly and I am unable to keep up, I’ve “semi-resigned” from Porcelain Utopia, and other work and art projects, leaving it open enough (example: when the site crashed mid-year.) I cannot for the life of me, even as a developer for Apple, Microsoft and Google, if you can believe that—and I was the wiz kid at age 15 who developed the software for Amazon among others—made me $ billions (thus PTSD once my father snagged it all from me in 2009.) Nonetheless sometimes I feel like a Buddhist monk, sometimes I playfully sing and laugh about being a “Schizo 4 Life’ (like on my last iTunes album)—at least I can laugh at it; then sometimes I can’t think straight at all, and I end up hating especially schizophrenia and myself—sometimes directing this love turned inside out towards others, though usually not these days. In my head, lately, I’ve been setting up a basic resignation post—thinking about it over and over—from Porcelain Utopia (yet again). So much hate mail, and I just can’t for the life of me, while healthier than ever before (since my teens) even the touch a key on my site (on the board—as administrator) with all the code I created and it’s all deleting so much material on this site, glitch-ing up and I have to let it go. Besides with my dyslexia I am legally blind—so big whoop—overstimulation. I (“sometimes…. sometimes…. sometimes…” is the keyword, I suppose) but I can’t do this, with my 2,200 page novel, and 3 others, 3 film deals—one just was green-lighted last week, with people wanting to sign me—etc., I just want to do my own thing which I am, having declined all radio, podcast, press, interviews, etc. so I write this quick-y post to say, “I’m out! Technology took a wrong turn and sometimes I feel this way and sometimes I feel that—Porcelain Utopia is done as I putz along in life always finding my way—” I had meant to write this in order to brain storm on resigning—anyway it’ll stay as it is. Suck it up and spit it out—let it go…
Have good morning folks… Sorry about the sh-t-glitches and broken files, posts, f—ed up sizing, these days, here on Porcelain Utopia. Thx for hearing my vent—as much as I dislike venting. —J